Unreqited: Women and Romantic Obsession • Lisa A. Phillips

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Lisa A. Phillips • Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession

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“I hope they make this required reading not only for every teenage girls in

America but for every boy, man and woman, whether partnered or not, because

we could all use a dose of its well-researched wisdom.” 

The Washington Post 

“What happens when we can’t stop wanting someone who won’t love us back? In

Unrequited, Lisa Phillips tackles with empathy and wisdom the pain of desire that

is left unreciprocated.” 

Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

“The heart, indeed, is a lonely hunter. As Phillips shows, the hunt may be more

engrossing, more thrilling, but more disappointing than the catch. Unrequited

lovers will learn they are not alone, and they will also acquire useful tips on ways

of letting go for good.” 


"Unrequited offers a compassionate perspective toward those seeking insight

into complicated heartache, particularly women struggling to move forward with

their love lives."

Pittsburgh City Paper

“Rare is the woman who hasn’t struggled with unrequited love and wondered

why it makes her feel so crazy. Deeply researched and compellingly written,

Unrequited unravels the complex psychology of this obsession and offers an

illuminating path back to balance and peace.” 

Colette Dowling, psychotherapist and author of The Cinderella Complex

“Phillips is a fluid storyteller, incorporating her own experience with unrequited

love into a cross-disciplinary journey through changing ideas of desire.” 

Publisher’s Weekly

"A sympathetic exploration of the misunderstood phenomenon of women and 'the

stubbornness of romantic obsession.'"


“Unfortunately, there is no cure for the pain of rejection, although researchers are

working on it. Until then, Phillips suggests we ‘honor passion by confining and

using it instead of letting it diminish us.” 

Chicago Tribune

"Phillips explains the psychology and biology of extreme love—not so different

from OCD or addiction—and notes the damaging tendency to excuse stalkers if

they are women."

Pacific Standard

"Phillips writes of the obsession that "changed me from a sane, conscientious

college teacher and radio reporter into someone I barely knew—someone who

couldn't realize that she was taking her yearning much, much too far."

Chronogram Magazine

"Lisa A. Phillips tackles a timely, deeply personal topic....This is a compellingly

written, eye-opening guide."


"In the telling of her own story and those of numerous other women,

Phillips pieces together a fascinating journey into the minds of those who have

been spurned."

Library Journal

"Lisa A. Phillips’s Unrequited explores the psychological components of

unrequited love and romantic obsession, but she captures the invigorating side of

unrequited experiences, too. Unrequited love signals brand-new emotional

territory and the ability to learn about yourself."